So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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