Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
