Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
