I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
