Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
