Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
