Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
