Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
