Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
