Ambien. No doubt about it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
