I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
