you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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