What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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