break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
