You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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