I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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