I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
