So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
