VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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