Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
