he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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