My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
