apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
