Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize