we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
