So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
