When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
