i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
