Plan B is the new Plan A
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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