Me. At least after what I've been through.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
