i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
