Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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