the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
