Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
