i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
