Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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