he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
