Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
