Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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