i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
