Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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