Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my sisters under your porch take her home
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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