Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
