We're facebook friends in real life
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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