Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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