The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
