Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
