cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
