I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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