I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
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when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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