kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
