I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
