Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
