Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
