So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
