Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
