Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
