Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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