apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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