I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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