My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize