she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
