can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
