My cat gives me a boner
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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