Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
