look no pants
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
the liver wants what the liver wants
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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